I’m not a frequent journaler, but every now and then I’ll unearth something I wrote in the past which e-brakes my progress during the workday, and I’ll have to process it. I recently found a digital pile of random snippets of my thoughts and words, and was rather shocked at who I used to be like…and who I am now.
I used to be afraid to talk to girls. I can start up a friendly conversation with anyone. I was afraid of people in public. I am quietly entertained by observing people in public. I went to the gym primarily to make myself as big as possible so no one would try to hurt me. I go to the gym to keep in shape now that I’m in my 40s. I never shared any of my tech knowledge at work. I volunteer at the local public library to help others learn basic tech skills. I never let the other driver in when it came time to merge into one lane. I ease up on the accelerator to allow a smooth merging process. I rarely said no to a request, either professionally or personally. I have no problem telling someone “not now” or “no thank you” and giving them honest reasons why. I equated my identity with the things I owned, hence I accumulated a lot of things. I have a small amount of things, and have streamlined my tech gear, my music gear, and my wardrobe. I didn’t like who I was on the inside. I’m okay with myself.
May your path today lead you to read words from your past, reflect on who you were, grieve how things were back then, then give thanks for who you are today and the life you currently have.